Is the honeymoon over on your spiritual pursuits? Have you been following some sort of spiritual path for a while and in the beginning everything was OOOH and AAAHHH and THIS IS AWESOME!!! ? And then “reality” set in and you realized your life was still poo-poo, your relationships hadn’t changed, your job hadn’t changed, and the people around you not only haven’t changed but they look at you like you lost your mind.
And you start asking why you even bother…
Many of you know that I realized a 35 year old dream recently when I bought my first motorcycle. I took my class and got my license last October. Just in time for the winter… so no new bike.
Come the spring I took the money I’d scrimped and saved and went to a semi-local dealer. He showed me a bike that had just come in 2 days earlier and was the find of the century. A 2000 Kawasaki Vulcan 800. This 15-year old bike had only 350 miles on it! It was practically mint. (Yes, I car-faxed it and it was legit).
Even with all the scrimping and saving, I still didn’t have enough and had to finance part of it. My credit is very iffy because of some mistakes I made many years ago that I’m still working on cleaning up. So it ended up taking almost two weeks to find financing that wasn’t over 20%.
I finally got the financing and then scheduling issues prevented me from picking it up for another week.
Finally the pick up day arrived and I rode it home. Well, almost…. It stalled out on me halfway home. This is where the LEARNING CURVE began. I called the dealer and they came and picked up where I was at the side of the highway. They took it back to the shop and ran tests. Turns out it was out of gas. There’s no fuel gauge on this bike. OK… need to keep an eye on the trip meter.
Another week later (because of more work scheduling issues) I picked it up again. Got it home this time, YAY! But again, because of my work schedule… and the whether…, I wasn’t able to ride it for several more days. I took it for a spin around my apartment complex, just getting used to it and getting comfortable riding again. (Remember, other than the ride home, I hadn’t ridden since my class last October).
As I was bringing it into the garage, I dropped it. Nothing looked broken and there weren’t any dents or even scratches, but a crap-load of gasoline came out. I spent the next several days learning how to clean up gas from a garage floor and how to get rid of the stink so it didn’t permeate the house.
Then I got sick. Not from the gas, but from allergies. I’m sure most of you know this is one of the worst years EVER for allergies and it got so bad I ended up with strep throat. I missed almost a week of work, and another two weeks of not riding my bike that I’d waited 35 years to get.
Finally, I’m better. Today was nice enough I could take the bike for a ride. Again, my plan was just to move it around the apartment complex to get used to riding and the new bike. And then to take it to the gas station, because I’d lost all that gas.
I didn’t make it to the gas station. It ran out of gas while I was still in the apartment complex, only a couple of buildings away. I pushed it back to our driveway and decided to get some breakfast, then go and buy a gas can.
Got breakfast, got the gas can, got gas. Got home, poured the gas into the tank and it started spewing gas all over the driveway. Oh, crap! I forgot to turn the dial from PRIME to RUN (Prime is where you put it when you run out of gas, but LEARNING CURVE… you don’t keep it there!)
So now the entire engine is flooded with gas and the motorcycle won’t start. I have to wait until it all dries out, and hopefully there wasn’t any real damage, and it SHOULD start right up.
What does all this have to do with my spiritual practice?
Before I was meditating every day, and connecting to spirit every day, and making my divinity a priority in my life, all of these events would have put me over the emotional cliff. I would have been BEYOND angry. I would have started blaming everyone from the original bike owner, to the dealer, to the salesman, to Kawasaki for all my troubles. I would have blamed God and the angels for abandoning me. I would have blamed myself for being so stupid as to think I deserved something as cool as a motorcycle. I would have ranted and raved and beat myself up and snapped out at anyone and everyone around me. I would have notched up my hate and loathing (self and otherwise) to the 11th degree.
Instead, I just rolled with it. I didn’t have to DO anything. I didn’t “process” or say affirmations or feel the need to “vent”. It simply is what it is. There are things I need to do, and right now waiting is the main doing.
When I noticed that my reaction wasn’t the drama-fest it might have been a year or more ago, the one action I decided to take was sharing it with you. You see, very often I question whether there is any reason or sense to my spiritual practice. While there’s a lot of hype about using your practice to “manifest” lots of money and stuff, or “magically” change your relationships or lifestyle, I’ve found that (for the most part) that’s not really the case.
So what’s it do? It helps you cope. It takes the sting out of life’s challenges so you can keep a clear mind and a clear heart. It’s that CLARITY that allows all the manifesting stuff to happen. It’s that CLARITY that keeps you from blowing a fuse when things go “wrong”.
So that’s my wish for you… CLARITY.
And the peace that comes with it.
I love you,