#5 will blow your mind!

happyoldyearI have to say that this year was probably one of the best in my life. It didn’t always feel like it, but as I look back on it, it really was incredible.

As we go through each day trying to make our way, creating accomplishments and forward motion, we often get stuck focusing on the struggle and even when things go well we sort of forget about that or dismiss it as “not good enough” because we’re exhausted from making it happen in the first place.

Most of my victories this year seemed very small to me at the time… but they were really huge.

Here’s some of the things I pulled off this year:

1. I got my motorcycle license.

I’m 50 years old this was something I’ve wanted since I was 15. I still don’t have a bike (I need to save up some dough), so getting the license itself was something of a let-down. What’s the use of having it if I don’t have a bike to ride, right?  HELLO!!!!!  I got my friggin’ license, dude! That’s flippin AWESOME!!!!

2. I got a new support job.

My soul’s purpose is to teach and empower. I have programs, a best-selling book, and a lifetime (or several) of experience to share. I CHANGE PEOPLE’S LIVES, but I haven’t gotten my business to a point where it supports me.  So I got a job waiting tables. It’s not always easy and it’s not really what I want to be doing, but I have a lot of fun. I get to makes people smile and whether it’s empowerment or food, I’m still fulfilling my mission to serve people. How cool is that!

3. I’m restructuring my OTHER business.

Since 1998, I’ve been doing graphics and web site support.  This business has gone through many incarnations and is still alive. For years I’ve known I needed help with it, and I put it out to the Universe. Now I’m partnering with a guy who actually knows how to make MILLIONS from business, and for the first time since I stumbled into this thing, I have a clear vision and plan on how to make it work. And it only took 16 years.

4. I lost 20 pounds.

This was actually something of a nightmare. I didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t even really NEED to do it.  Robin (my bohemian soulmate) is very overweight and she started a very intense cleanse program. I did it with her to be supportive. Who doesn’t need a good cleanse, right?

You gotta understand something here. I was skinny (if not downright scrawny) most of my life.  I’m about 6 feet tall and finally got up to 175 pounds in my late thirties. I worked very hard to get to a solid 185-190 lbs in my forties and finally felt like a “real man”. When I dropped down into the mid-160’s it brought me straight back to being that scrawny little kid that used to get bullied.

As if that emotional crap wasn’t enough, Robin wasn’t losing as much as expected and I felt soooo guilty that I was able to easily lose (and start eating more food again) while she was still struggling.

I really had to work hard to allow for my journey to be mine, and her’s to be her’s. I’m still supportive and am so very very proud of what she’s done and her commitment to continue. My results are not her’s and they aren’t supposed to be.

I’m still working through my scrawny issues. I have to buy a whole new wardrobe. I feel pretty good about my skinny ass (literally and figuratively).

5. I no longer give a fuck.

There’s a balance in life. When you start on a conscious spiritual life journey, it’s easy to make “being enlightened”, “vibrating higher”, “doing good”, etc etc very important and significant. You also learn a lot about the “Law of Attraction” and creating wealth and a “better” life for yourself.  And when those things don’t work (the way we WANT or EXPECT), it can really mess us up.

There are so many things I want to get from life and so many things I want to give to life. That’s cool.  Will I accomplish them all? Maybe. Maybe not.  I don’t care… about the RESULT.  I care that I commit. I care that I am true to myself.  I care that I take a shot at it.

I don’t really believe in a single destiny. I believe we have choice. Always. I believe that the little victories are much larger than we think at first, and that the big victories are usually nowhere near as significant as we first thought.

6. I LOVE YOU

I may not always be good at showing it, but I love you. It used to be important to me that you love me too. And that you show me, tell me, make me believe it. That doesn’t matter anymore.

I love you.

Yup. I said it.  And I feel pretty damn good about it.

 

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